Good Sounding, Bad Idea #14

Online Dating

I have had horrible luck with Online Dating. I know quite a few people who have found success, but I just have bad luck with the whole process. I have no problem chatting with people online and meeting them in person, but those are the only easy parts. Below are just a few examples of the dates I've had recently so you can see what's available out there for a 28-year-old woman.

1) CALL ME CHER
The worst date I ever had all began before the date started. As I approached this man it was obvious he'd done a little photoshoping to his pictures or posted pictures from many, many years ago. I don't like being deceived so I told him my dog was ill and I couldn't stay for dinner, just a drink. As I was drowning my sorrows in white wine he began telling me that he "likes to be referred to only as Stan, as in Cher." Yes, he really did reference Cher. As if that's not odd enough, Stan is not his first name but instead part of his last name. Needless to say that didn't go further than that evening.

2) UNCONTROLLABLE NOSTRILS
Not the worst date I've been on, but close is the guy who had the strangest breathing habbits I've ever seen. I barely know what his name was or what he was talking about because I was so distracted by his spastic nostrils. When he would speak, they would move rapidly in and out and if he were a fish gasping for air. He also submitted a photo from the years when he had hair.

3) NO SKINNY JEANS FOR ME
Emo-love. I am trying to branch out, keep an open mind and enjoy new experiences. However, I don't think I could ever get serious with a 29-year-old emo. I do not wear skinny jeans and I'd prefer if my boyfriend didn't either.

I know I'm not perfect, in fact I'm far from it but I am somewhat normal. Is it too much to ask to find a man who is semi-normal. Someone who watches TV, not thinks it's evil. Someone who likes watching sports but doesn't have to bet on every game being played. Someone who likes going on actual dates, not just boozing. Someone who likes the outdoors, not Grizzly Adams. Perhaps that is too much to ask but I do get some good stories out of it!